Last week I had a rendevous with my Chemistry past in the event of celebrating my former Ph.D. supervisor receiving a very prestigous award. I was fun to see friends and collegues from 15 years back, most of them now being Professors all over the World. Thus, my presence there was a kind of minority attack from the outcasts, or at least that is how I felt. Like an outcast.

Actually, I am delighted for this experience. Firstly, it was an honor to participate in the celebration and I could even follow the lectures, well, one of them was very tough to digest… Science is moving fast for sure !

Secondly, I could confirm that I had taken the right decision that Chemistry and Science was not for me… for several reasons. Already 15 years back I had troubles with projecting myself into the possible Future of a scientific career, lacking both the special temperament and dedication that I think is necessary. I wanted ‘more’ and ‘else’. Also, my personal background was incomtatible with this trajectory, and I guess I didnt have neither the patience nor the lab skills to prevail.  

Still, I felt like an outcast and had to ‘defend’ ‘only’ to be in IT .. as if that is something that needs defending (wake up, guys !). When you think about it, there is a very important message in this: NEVER to treat your fellow humans with the arrogance of you being ‘better’ or to exclude their presence or existence. We should not be excluding but including ! I believe this is also the teachings of people like… Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi and… well… the less known danish photographer Jacob Holdt being world-famous in Denmark for his unconditional love to minorites and outcasts (like me). Remember this in your interactions with e.g. immigrants, coloured people, less intelligent persons, women and the like 😉

Well… I’m pushing some things in this to extremes… (a bit) fact is, that most people at this celebration were actually very friendly, and it was great to see them ! And what delighted me the most was to see, that THEY obviously had chosen the right path for THEM, still being enriched and joyful about our once common interest in Organic and Biological Chemistry.

So… we all make our own choices. The art is to respect this and to find common ground as humans. Which in my world is always the most interesting.

I consider myself very lucky to have a Sanctuary here on Earth… a hotel high-up in the Norwegian mountains. This hotel is called Dalseter.

I have visited this hotel since I was two (!) years old and the host family and my family have known five generations in each, a quite remarkable thing I believe. Dalseter is also the place where I learned to ski, to swim…

… and to walk and run long trips in the Nature. 

Indeed, I defeated my first Mountain Top, Sprengpiggen (1329 meters above sea) at the age of 5, which ignited my lifelong love to hiking and Nature experiences.

Dalseter is also the place from where I treasure some of the best Childhood memories, together with my beloved, late Grandmother… and I remember the five summers when we watched Bjørn Borg clinch his Wimbledon Trophees… this was here too.

 So… yes, I consider myself lukcy.. being able to reconnect to a lifetime of experiences and to rediscover my childhood innocence from time to time. Here, being 30 and on the onset of ‘real’ adulthood…

… and now, passing the relay to the next generation. Pure bliss.

Yesterday, The World witnessed the Memorial of the Great Michael Jackson. I think it was a beautiful and touching event, classy, delicate and to the point. May the great performer rest in peace and may his music live on forever.

Other times had their Masters too… remember the similar (and probably greater) prodigies of Mozart and Beethoven, the spirit of Schubert, the sufferings of Shostakovich and the lyrics of Miles Davis. They – and many more – live on too.

I think all these geniouses had one profound thing in common: a vast feeling of loneliness. Just read this qoute of Michael Jackson:

People think they know me, but they don`t. Not really. Actually, I am one of the loneliest people on this earth. I cry sometimes, because it hurts. It does. To be honest, I guess you could say that it hurts to be me.

No comparison at all… don’t we all feel the same sometimes ? The horisont of being alone in the world, the lack of true companions that fully understand ‘everything’ ? Perhaps this is one of the bridges that Music can build… even across centuries.

Personally, I feel often more connected to these great Masters than to my contemporary peers, mates, girlfriends and so on. Perhaps I just have yet to meet someone with the same fragility as myself ? Most people I know are specialized in their jobs and careers, and do far better than I. Admitted. Most people I know find strength in their families, and appear much stronger than I. Admitted. Most people I know have the ability to uphold what I would call narrowminded personal illusions of life and they truly believe and take pride in them. I can’t do that and it leaves me weaker, apparently. Admitted.

I – I am poisened by asking questions, by questioning myself, the life, the meaning. I am suffering the losses that Death brings… and, I like to believe, the unspeakable Wisdom that springs. I honestely think I play with the world most of the time… and that I see through people in seconds. I find no real counterplay, mostly. I guess that is… loneliness.

It is all here… Beethoven Opus 135, 3rd movement. Do you follow me ?

PS: However, in running I do find the ‘unspoken’ sense of belonging. With my many marathon friends, I . and we – often share experiences on levels that cannot or are not accounted for… but which we ‘understand’ with no words spoken. This is one of the fine things about running marathons.